Apr 15 lockdown notes

Some things you cant escape whatever mantra you follow. An economy on the brink of shrinking by 35%…the knowledge keeps poking at me whenever I try to nudge it away and even the warm sun flooding into the kitchen today morning couldn’t dispel it.

Rocks at my beach. Did a quick water colour colour charcoal and pastel sketch hoping to turn it into a larger painting.

I tried working on my tbr list which always makes me feel like I’m hoarding sweets for the future. One more fudge to store in my bank and melt into when the time comes. The New York times recommends the Grapes of Wrath which I’d given up on many years ago for its dreary grimness. But possibly I no longer have the surging optimism I had 15yrs ago which made it unpalatable. And I was definitely in need of fortitude building.

I pick up Ragnarok the work on the endgame of Norse mythology which I had been reading. The gods were busy creating monsters that would destroy their world. Perhaps we are serial catastrophe makers I just hadn’t been looking for those patterns before. Now I see them in everything. We’re constant witnesses of our own demise.

Later with the images of the Nordic mountains still floating around me…the god like rocks, the forests of kelps; we went for a run to our local beach. There is nothing Nordic about it …this is the English coast of Dover. But we are also a land the Vikings visited. Their stories are our stories too. In the rocks that rise out of the of water and form cliffs I see dormant creatures that have been lying witness to so many shifts of the tectonic plates of our world. It is strangely comforting to walk on the rock pools in low tide taking in the smell of salt and the slightly wet one of the sea weeds, seeing my reflection in the water when I bend down to search for crabs.

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